Luigi Mario: E! True Hollywood Story
by Twanny Bizzle
Summary: This is Part 1 of a Two-Shot. Luigi tells the tale how he became Mario's partner during his game, and also how Waluigi came to be his archrival. This is a parody of a skit from the Chappelle Show.


**A/N: You know who this is, I'm back with another freakin One-Shot. This time it's about an extremely funny skit from the Chappelle Show, if haven't seen that show before, you're truly missing something. Anywho this one's from the Rick James skit (R.I.P.) enjoy it and while you're at it, review it when you're done, Kay? This is part 1, kiddies.**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! You hear me NOTHING!!!!!! WHY?! Tell me?!?! **

**Luigi Mario: E! True Hollywood Story**

**The Waluigi Story Part 1**

"My viewers would like to know how you were cast as Mario's sidekick in his games." asked Toad Rathers as he sat down with a cup of coffee in front of Luigi in his studio office. "It's strange that a…I don't know how to put this, but a coward became Mario's ally."

"Actually I'm only paid to act like coward I'm not one in real life," muttered Luigi a little bothered by that statement. "Anyway, I actually beat out Waluigi for the job as Mario's sidekick."

Toad Rathers was blown away by that statement and placed his cup on the table chortling. "C'mon you actually expect me to believe that." It was just so funny Waluigi was a bumbling moron that followed Wario around like a dog.

"Oh, it's the truth. It was 1983 Mario just blew up as the hottest video game character and I was really proud of him." smiled Luigi. "I got to hang out at Studio 54 with many famous people like Samus and Pit, but Waluigi was the biggest boss there. He was always the villain in games I guess people loved that ridiculous handlebar mustache of his."

"Well, Waluigi came out from the back and he had this purple uh…aura?!…I don't what you call it, but I seen it." cried Luigi as he tried to visualize the scene with his hands. "He just came off one of his Penelope Pitstop cartoon where he played someone called Dastardly Dan or someone like that."

That's when the flash back began and Waluigi sat on a couch wearing a long purple mink with a gigantic lavender cowboy hat. "I'm the baddest mofo of all time. I'm the most evil and talented mofo you ever seen," laughed Waluigi while he held a huge glass of champagne.

"Waluigi was a huge mega star and he knew it too. The creepy bastard would just walk up to a woman and lick the whole left side of their face," scoffed Luigi as he interrupted the flashback with a cringe of disgust.

The flashback opened up with Waluigi grabbing Samus by the arm and licking the entire left side of her face, but he did remove her helmet first. "It's a celebration. Enjoy yourself. I'm Waluigi bitch," laughed Waluigi when Samus looked offended.

"That's when Mario and me walked into the club and Waluigi popped up out of nowhere and punched me on the forehead," griped Luigi breaking the flashback once again and he then motioned toward his forehead. "He had a ring on that symbolized a game called Unity he just made and it left an imprint on my forehead."

"Unity," laughed Waluigi as he waved his ring in Luigi's face. "That was cold-blooded." Waluigi began to dance around the floor totally ignoring Luigi. Everyone in the club expect Luigi found Waluigi's antics hilarious.

"He totally wrote me off like I was the one for him to bag on. Mario didn't do things to harm his blossoming career. So after the party I waited for him to leave and I swung by Waluigi's place to whip his ass," muttered Luigi to Toad Rathers who wrote done every word Luigi said.

Waluigi sat in his apartment talking to many off his fan girls. "Ya see this fat plumber came up to me wearing these yellow overalls asking me to help him fond his scheme. Ya know what I did. I said Bitch, I'm Waluigi and I smacked him," cackled Waluigi.

"I then walked into the room and he leapt up about to throw another sucker punch, so before he could I reached back and kicked him in the chest," chuckled Luigi. "Man I kicked the shit out of him." In the flashback Luigi could be seen kicking Waluigi in the chest knocking the wiry man into a glass mirror shattering it on impact.

"He was bleeding from his mouth, but soon he hollered for his guards," muttered Luigi.

"Security?!?!," yelled Waluigi as he inched over to the window. Two Toads walked into the room and the in front had a crooked eye so it looked like he was staring at Waluigi and Luigi at the same time. "You see Plumber the tables have turned. Do whatever you like with him."

"You take another step I'm kicking this bitch out the window," growled Luigi. "Waluigi you know you were wrong. Man look at my forehead."

Waluigi seemed apologetic. "I'm sorry Luigi Mario I was having too much fun, but I offer you a truce the stickiest of the ickiest."

"Thank ya, man my forehead is bumping," muttered Luigi with a slight chuckle.

"Now that ya mention it, I think I might be bleeding in my chest," groaned Waluigi.

Luigi then looked at Toad Rathers. "That's how that incident ended, but that wasn't the last time I had to whoop his ass. Waluigi always steps over the line, he is a habitually line stepper."

"That incident at the club had passed and I thought it was all done with, but I was wrong man," sighed Luigi. "Mario had just bought some suede white sofas and Waluigi walked into our house wearing these dirty cowboy boots and he was high on cocaine or something."

"Nice couch, Plumber," chortled Waluigi as he sat on their couch. "You don't mind if I stretch out." Waluigi then turned and laid his feet on their suede sofa and began grinding his feet into the sofa.

"He looked us dead in the eye as he did this shit man," muttered Luigi shaking his head. "I looked at Mario and said let's handle, so we went over and just started wailing on his legs. But Waluigi was tough man, even though his legs looked like linguini he didn't stop with the insults."

"Ah…fuck yo couch, Plumber," yelled Waluigi as he stomped his suede cowboy boots on the sofa before Luigi and Mario could be seen throwing multiple punches that left Waluigi's legs dangling. "Aw…you evil, delirious plumbing mofo, you big nose having, deep breathing mofo!!!," yelled Waluigi as he cringed in pain. "Ah…bitch…fuck yo couch, plumber."

"I'll be back Plumber. You think I give a damn Luigi Mario, I've been kicked outta better houses than this," cried Waluigi as he dropped off the couch and began crawling for the door. "Mario can buy another couch, but what about my LEGS?!?!, They shouldn't of never gave you plumbers money."

Toad Rathers stared at Luigi and chuckled. "This is one hilariously story Luigi."

"I ain't done yet Toad Rathers I had to whoop his ass one more time," chortled Luigi.

"I see you're up to your same old tricks Plumber," gruffed Waluigi bursting into the studio.

Luigi groaned. "Why do you keep calling me that?!?! You're a plumber too?!"

"You're so simple Luigi Mario, by calling you a plumber its my way of demeaning you," smirked Waluigi as he pushed Luigi out of his chair and crossed his lanky legs.

** …………To Be Continued………..**


End file.
